This blog is going to be a chaotic mess, just like my brain today, but that’s okay. It’s been a while since I wrote anything here, in fact, I believe the last time I wrote on this blog I was still married. I’ve been a bit absent from writing here. Well, it’s been a long year and a half. Here I am, however long since the last blog post, divorced, single mom to my two kiddos here on Earth, rocking it out. I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way, but two years ago I would have never imagined my life being where it is now. I will forever be thankful for the struggles and hurdles that I have to overcome to get where I am. I’m proud of where I am today.
ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
It’s almost May, which means we are creeping closer and closer to Presley’s anniversary of being gone. It’s been a really long, but short 5 years. I can’t even believe that it’s been 5 years. How did we make it this long without her? Ellie is completely opposite of Presley, but also the same. Sometimes, I can’t see the similarities, and other times she’s a spitting image of her with her sparkling and bossy personality especially when it comes to Righley. That might be because Presley was always like me, and possibly Ellie is becoming the same way.
Boy, Righley. Honestly, I’m not even sure how we have made it this far. Righley is something special, he has managed to overcome the last five years with strength and love like never before. He amazes me and there’s not a day that I don’t look at him like this trauma hasn’t made him grow up a little faster than he needed to. At the age of 8, he should have never endured what he had to, but looking at him at the age of 13 I’ve never been more proud to be his Mom. His sister would be proud too!
This May came on a little faster than I would have liked, but just like last year, I am going to try and make the best of it. The
is in its second year it has given her anniversary a meaning. I love helping other foundations reach goals with this virtual race especially when it’s a family who has also lost a child. I’m proud of these moments that we remember her with love.
The more I think about it I still can’t believe that it’s been almost 5 years. I never thought that I would have to live without one of my kiddos. Some days are still a lot harder than others, it’s hard to get out of bed and keep going. It’s something that I’m sure I will always struggle with, but to keep going shows strength to others who are depending on me. If I’ve learned anything this past 5 years, it’s that love really does conquer all. The support and love that I have received from family and friends, or even people who I don’t know has been staggering.
When they say it takes a village…. They really mean it.
From people that you know to complete strangers, the great thing about social media and blogs is that you can meet anyone from anywhere who is going through a similar situation to you that can help in ways that you never thought were possible.
I read a lot of different blogs and articles on trauma and healing, I highly recommend this blog:
She talks a lot about healing and coping with trauma and how you respond to that. It has been super helpful to me with my forever healing.
“Some people survive though community, some in silence, some by creating, some through movement. And what works for each of us will probably change over the course of our lives.”
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