One Holiday At A Time
Don’t hold it in. If you are grieving, and ready to break during the day, just do it. We had three places to go on Christmas Day which meant go, go, go. I made sure we did. The second I started to relax and feel anything.. I was standing up ready to go. I’d push my boys out the door. When they say the first Holiday is the worst. They are not lying what so ever. The first Holiday was a lot of, “I’m okay.” Holidays are supposed to be a wonderful time with loved ones, which we did spend a lot of time with everyone we love very dearly. This year the Holiday was me holding back tears, Righley exhausted, and Lance keeping us together. At the end of a day filled with family, Jesus, gifts, hugs, and food... we come back to Presley’s room still empty and Mommy’s heart still broken. After gathering all of our gifts, cleaning up, and I’m thinking I’m ready to start putting Christmas things away. I stop... walk into Presley’s room... I get a feeling like she is there, and here comes everything I’ve held back today. It’s a hurricane of emotions. Don’t hold it back, because when you finally let it go it’s an overload of emotion. I still don’t understand God’s purpose, but I still believe he has one. With my heart still breaking everyday without her, I have to keep remembering that it’s okay to feel that way. I still don’t understand God’s purpose, but I still believe he has one. With my heart still breaking everyday without her, I have to keep remembering that it’s okay to feel that way.
Comments